Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Is it a prerequisite for General Pants employees to be the most annoying people on the face of the earth? I think so. They are almost a sub-species, distinguished by their extroverted manner, inspid dress sense and the way in which they strucutre their sentences around the words "bro" and "buddy". (Look closely and you will be able to identify a General Pants employee outisde of their work too.) Each is a slightly more or less obnxious version of the other. I once had one assistant who, whilst serving me, rapped some Lupe Fiasco track, complete with hand movements, like she was a "ghetto motha" from the Bronx.
When you enter a General Pants store the customer service borders on harassment. In between the thundering beats of the Scribe and Yeah Yeah Yeahs albums that seem to be constantly playing on repeat over the speakers, the painful assistant will attack you with a barrage of questions ("what are you up to today buddy?" "how are ya fellas?") with a sweet-as attitude. Sometimes I just have the urge to yell, "You are not cool! You look like a dickhead wearing that trilby hat indoors. Please, please, please leave me the fuck alone, and let me browse through the overpriced flannelette shirts in peace!!" I'm not asking for inspiring shop assistants (I'm quite fine with the dreary, overweight middle aged clerks at K-Mart who are so lackadaisical it's as if the store's fluroescent lighting has drained them of all life), I just want to be left alone!