Has anyone else noticed Madonna is looking more and more like Michael Jackon every day? However, their similarities go beyond the superficial. Madonna's erratic quest for youth (toy-boys, lame pop duets with Justin Timberlake) is leading her whole persona to a point that is becoming laughable. Her downfall may be more subtle than sleepovers with pre-pubescent boys and Neverland ranch, but it is no less tragic.

My hotel room was just called "a den of iniquity".

"Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life."

There is a subculture of older women who eat organic foods, rise early, drive Subarus and wear Kathmandu fleeces and practical hiking shoes. They give the impression that they are sharp, stern and wordly. Annie Proulx is one such woman.

In The Land of Women reminds me of Garden State due to the abundance of greenery, and the way in which every character is so damaged it takes the entire movie to fix them.

Am at home alone for a couple of days. The whole thing is very Risky Business. Maybe I should hire a prostitute, or something?

It may come as a suprise to many that I am a big believer in the 'less is more' theory. Despite my penchant for revealling intricate and inappropriate details, I believe that it is better to conceal rather than reveal, creating an aloof and mysterious impression. It seems strange then that I am about to start this blog detailling my mediocre activities and mundane thoughts. Yet there are two good reasons why I am doing so. The first comes after research showing that in these tech-savvy times you are more or less a no one if you do not blog. "To not be online is to effectively not exist". And really, who wants to be a persona non-grata? A friend, Lauren Perkins, recently asked me, without a hint of embarrassment, "What's a blog?". This obtuse statement may explain why her popularity is plummeting. The second reason is that today marks exactly six months since I graduated from high school. This caused sudden panic as I realised that my I.Q has now been in rapid decline for half a year. The most I write these days are the words "matte" and "gloss" at my job in the photo store. But not only have I forgotten how to string proper sentences together, I have lost other virtuous qualities school instilled in me, such as a vague work ethic, so I have started this blog as a means of retrieving them.